The Good Stuff
What's Worth Keeping
Not everything in the tradition is harmful. This chapter celebrates the genuinely beautiful teachings—chesed, loving kindness, ethical wisdom from Pirkei Avot—and helps you keep what serves you.
Chesed and Loving Kindness
For all its problems, Judaism contains genuinely beautiful ethical teachings. Chesed (loving kindness) is perhaps the most powerful:
"The world is built on chesed" (Tehillim 89:3)
The tradition of gemilut chasadim (acts of loving kindness) encompasses:
- Visiting the sick (bikur cholim)
- Welcoming guests (hachnasat orchim)
- Comforting mourners (nichum aveilim)
- Giving charity (tzedakah—which literally means "justice")
- Clothing the naked
- Feeding the hungry
These practices don't require belief in God. They don't require keeping Shabbat. They're simply about being a good human being. And they represent some of the best of what the Jewish tradition has to offer.
Micah 6:8 puts it perfectly: "What does the Lord require of you? Only to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly."
You can take chesed with you wherever you go, whatever you believe.
📜 Sources
Wisdom from Pirkei Avot
Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) is a treasure trove of ethical wisdom that transcends religious belief:
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?" — Hillel (1:14)
"Do not judge your fellow until you have stood in their place." — Hillel (2:4)
"It is not your responsibility to finish the work, but neither are you free to desist from it." — Rabbi Tarfon (2:16)
"Who is wise? One who learns from every person. Who is mighty? One who conquers their own inclination. Who is rich? One who is happy with their portion. Who is honored? One who honors others." — Ben Zoma (4:1)
"In a place where there are no leaders, strive to be a leader." — Hillel (2:5)
These teachings are universal. They speak to the human condition regardless of faith. You don't need to believe in divine revelation to recognize their wisdom.
📜 Sources
Taking What Serves You
Leaving Orthodoxy doesn't mean rejecting everything. You get to choose what stays and what goes. Many people who leave keep:
- Shabbat dinner (without the religious obligations—just the gathering)
- Holiday celebrations as cultural events
- Hebrew language and connection to Israel
- Food traditions (you might still love challah even if you eat bacon)
- Community values of mutual support
- Ethical teachings that resonate with you
- Music and art from the tradition
- The humor (Jewish humor is a coping mechanism and an art form)
The key insight: When something is no longer an obligation, it can become a genuine choice. And choices made freely are infinitely more meaningful than commandments followed from fear.
You are the author of your own life now. Keep what brings you joy, leave what causes pain, and build something beautiful with the freedom you've claimed.
🌱 Your Next Steps
- →Make a list of traditions and teachings that genuinely bring you joy
- →Practice chesed—not as a commandment, but as a choice
- →Remember Hillel: 'If not now, when?' Your new life starts today