Bodily Autonomy
Your Body, Your Rules
From circumcision on the eighth day to rules about tattoos and modesty, Orthodox Judaism claims ownership of your body. This chapter is about taking it back.
Circumcision (Brit Milah)
On the eighth day of a baby boy's life, he undergoes circumcision (Brit Milah). This is considered one of the most important commandments—a sign of the covenant between God and Abraham (Bereishis 17:10-14).
The procedure involves:
- Removal of the foreskin (milah)
- Tearing of the membrane (priah)
- Traditionally, metzitzah b'peh (oral suction of the wound)—a practice that has caused herpes infections and even death in infants
The child has no say in this permanent body modification. It's performed on a baby who cannot consent, justified by a covenant he never agreed to.
The ethical question is clear: Should parents have the right to permanently alter their child's body for religious reasons? Many people who leave Orthodoxy wrestle with this question, especially when they have sons of their own.
While circumcision is common in some cultures for various reasons, the religious framing of it as a divine covenant—performed without consent—is worth examining critically.
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Tattoos and Body Modification
Vayikra 19:28 states: "You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves." This verse is the basis for the prohibition on tattoos in Jewish law.
The common belief that a tattooed Jew cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery is actually a myth—there's no such halachic prohibition. But the social stigma is very real.
The broader principle at work here is that your body belongs to God, not to you. Orthodox Judaism teaches that you are a custodian of your body, not its owner. This principle is used to prohibit:
- Tattoos
- Unnecessary cosmetic surgery
- Self-harm (obviously reasonable, but framed as religious obligation)
- And extends into areas like modesty requirements (tznius)
The truth: Your body is yours. Decorate it, modify it, or leave it exactly as it is—the choice belongs to you alone.
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Tznius (Modesty)
Tznius (modesty) is the dress code that governs how women (and to a lesser extent, men) must present themselves. For women, the requirements include:
- Covering elbows and knees at minimum
- Married women must cover their hair (with a sheitel/wig, tichel/scarf, or hat)
- No bright or attention-drawing colors
- No tight-fitting clothing
- No singing in front of men (kol b'isha ervah - "a woman's voice is nakedness")
- In some communities, stockings are mandatory
The message is clear: a woman's body is a source of temptation, and it's her responsibility to cover it to prevent men from sinning. This places the burden of male desire squarely on women's shoulders.
The psychological impact of growing up under tznius rules is profound. Many women who leave describe feeling naked and exposed in perfectly normal clothing. Relearning comfort in your own skin takes time.
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🌱 Your Next Steps
- →Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident
- →Your body is yours—get that tattoo if you want one
- →If you have children, think critically about what bodily autonomy means for them