Money & Financial Control

How it works:

• After marriage, young men are expected to learn in kollel full-time, often for 5-10+ years
• Kollel stipends are typically $500-1500/month—far below a living wage
• Wives are expected to work AND raise children AND run the household
• In-laws ("support") often commit to years of financial assistance as part of the shidduch arrangement
• The community treats kollel as the default; getting a job is seen as a concession or failure

The Talmud doesn't actually support this. The idea of mass kollel study is a modern innovation:

• Rambam (Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:10) explicitly condemns those who make Torah study a livelihood: "Anyone who decides to study Torah and not work, and to live off charity, desecrates God's name, disgraces the Torah, extinguishes the light of religion, causes harm to himself, and removes his life from the World to Come"
• The Talmud (Brachos 35b) records a debate between Rabbi Yishmael ("combine Torah with an occupation") and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai ("study Torah exclusively"). The Gemara concludes: "Many followed Rabbi Yishmael and succeeded; many followed Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai and did not succeed"
• Throughout history, the greatest rabbis had trades: Rashi was a vintner, Rambam was a physician, Hillel was a woodcutter

The financial reality:

• Average ultra-Orthodox family in the US has 6-8 children
• Many families live below the poverty line
• Government assistance (Section 8, food stamps, Medicaid, WIC) is widespread and normalized
• Some communities have developed systems to maximize government benefits
• Financial literacy is rarely taught—because you're not supposed to need it

What most yeshiva graduates don't know:

• How to write a résumé or cover letter
• What a 401(k) or IRA is
• How credit scores work
• How to file taxes (though some learn this through community tax prep services)
• How mortgages and interest work
• Basic budgeting and financial planning
• How health insurance works outside of Medicaid

The community's internal economy:

• Real estate, diamond trade, electronics, import/export—these are the "acceptable" careers
• They function partly on trust networks within the community
• Leaving the community means losing access to business connections, loans, and opportunities
• Gemachim (free loan societies) provide interest-free loans—but only to community members in good standing

The trap:

• You're in your late 20s or 30s with multiple children
• You have no degree, minimal work experience, and limited English skills
• Your entire support network (family, community, financial) is conditional on staying frum
• Your spouse may not support your desire to leave
• Leaving means starting from zero—financially, socially, professionally

The pressure is relentless:

• Collectors (meshulachim/schnorrers) come to your door constantly
• You're expected to give at every simcha, every shul appeal, every community event
• Your donations are noticed and tracked—giving less raises questions
• Wealthy community members gain influence through their giving (and can lose it by withdrawing)
• Institutions name buildings, programs, and scholarships after major donors—creating visible hierarchies

Where the money goes:

• Yeshivas and kollelim consume the largest share of community tzedakah
• This creates a circular dependency: the community funds the system that keeps people unable to support themselves
• Overhead and accountability are often minimal—many community organizations operate with little financial transparency
• Scandals involving misuse of communal funds are not uncommon

The Rambam's ladder of tzedakah (Hilchos Matnos Aniyim 10:7-14) is frequently cited but selectively followed:

• The highest level is helping someone become self-sufficient through a job or loan
• Yet the community's actual practice—funding perpetual kollel study—keeps people dependent rather than self-sufficient
• The Rambam would likely be horrified by a system that produces poverty and then celebrates the charity needed to alleviate it